With the conclusion of my sabbatical, I want to offer a brief report and some personal reflections. The past three months have been everything I had hoped for, and more, in giving me time to “step out of the stream” of leadership in CBF. I spent a good bit of time reading and writing, visiting with family, going to movies, taking long walks and doing some long-neglected projects at home. Except for a two-week trip to Europe and a few preaching assignments, I spent most of the time in Atlanta. Earlene and I are grateful for this sabbatical and for the gift that it was for both of us. I’m especially thankful to the CBF staff who “carried on” (I mean that in the good sense) while I was absent. In fact they “carried on” so well that I am a little worried that they have realized they can do without me.
I learned and re-learned some things about myself and about Cooperative Baptist Fellowship during this time away. The following insights aren’t revelations but they do represent some of my self-understanding by being out of the day-to-day responsibilities for almost 12 weeks.
1. My identity and selfhood is not dependent on CBF or on Baptist life. My greatest joys are not in this place of ministry. This is not to say that I don’t find joy in this time and place. I do. The past 10 years have been some of the most rewarding years of life, but I rediscovered during this sabbatical that my life is not dependent on what I do. This beautiful mysterious gift called life is its own reward. To be able to think, play, dream, love and pray is in itself an incredible blessing. To love and be loved by a wife of 40 years, three children and their spouses and five grandchildren is a joy unspeakable. Thanks be to God!
2. I am not ready to retire. Last fall Buddy Shurden told me of a conversation he had with John Claypool about work before John died. When asked about retirement, John said, “I’m not ready to give up the pressure.” I admit that it was good to let go of the stress of leadership for a while, but I also admit I’m not ready to let go of that stress for good, at least not now. At some point in this sabbatical I began to anticipate returning to the routine and responsibilities I have been given for this period of my life. I return this week with new energy and renewed clarity about my call.
3. I understand and love moderate Baptist churches, but I am still learning. This may sound a bit contradictory and I don’t mean to imply that I know everything about churches, but after 27 years as pastor and ten years in this place of ministry, I feel I have some discernment about the strengths and weaknesses of local congregations. However, churches continue to surprise and teach me. I have the privilege of being in 30 to 40 different churches each year, and I’m serious when I say it is a privilege. During this sabbatical I asked myself, Why do I enjoy being in these churches?” I don’t have a complete answer, but I know that I love the local church and I believe in the local church. I don’t believe that the local church is the total body of Christ, but I do believe that the local church is the real body of Christ. I return with an even deeper desire that CBF do exactly what we say in our mission statement.
4. I know and love pastors. Having been one myself, I believe I still have a pastor’s heart. I understand the challenges that pastors face. I also know that there is no place of ministry in Baptist life more difficult and more rewarding than being a pastor. In today’s cultural, denominational and congregational environment, the role of pastoral leadership is ever more daunting. I feel for pastors and want CBF to be a worthy partner for pastors.
5. I return from this sabbatical being even more convinced that CBF is a work of God’s grace and a renewal movement within the Baptist family and in the broader Christian community. We are a new kind of Baptist body. We are not a convention, a society or a denomination and not being these kinds of institutions is frustrating to some. We are a fellowship of Baptists seeking to be the presence of Christ to one another and to the world. Our mission of serving local churches is a noble one and our priorities of congregational life, leadership development and global missions are worthy of our best efforts. Our partnership with institutions, ministries, organizations, local churches and individual Baptists has produced a vibrant ministry and witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have our challenges but this movement/organization/fellowship continues to be blessed by the Spirit.
6. I am deeply appreciative of my colleagues and friends with whom I share leadership. The CBF staff that has been assembled through the years is remarkable for their giftedness, commitment and unity. It is a joy to work alongside them. Our field missionaries are some of the finest as they live out their call among the most neglected. The chaplains we endorse are a great inspiration. The state and regional leadership are integral to this movement and I am blessed to be on the same team with them. During this sabbatical I realized how much of my life has been shaped by these friendships and relationships. I really missed them during my absence. These biblical texts have been impressed on me as I begin 2007:
Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NIV)
23 This is what the LORD says:
“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boasts of his strength
or the rich man boasts of his riches.
24 But let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight.” declares the LORD.
1 Corinthians 1:30 (NIV)
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who has become for us wisdom from God —that is,
our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
Daniel Vestal has served as CBF's coordinator since December 1996.